Legends of Belariath
Ehlanna
Ehlanna's Sojourn - Part One
So, it was with heavy heart, and light pack that I started walking out of Desreniel Falaris. Tears ran gently down the cheek of my down turned face. Even knowing that my mother was right did not immediately help assuage the pangs of regret at my leaving. But, go I must. If I stayed surrounded by fellow Sylvans I would slowly but surely let the small lump of ice I felt in my heart expand and consume me. Little by little, since Tolwyn's death, I had slipped from having a soul that sang with delight at each dawn, that soared whenever I beheld a loved one, to a shrivelled shadow that whispered soft evils to me. Why should others so enjoy life when you cannot? Who are they to find such pleasure in the song of the birds and in the way the sunlight dapples the forest floor?
I had tried my best to fight these feelings but, to my shame, had failed. My sharp eyed mother had seen and heard my pettiness; watched with disquiet as it slowly grew and starting taking the form of a nascent, greater, evil. She must suffered greatly those last years, but her love was given unstintingly and without reserve. There came a time, however, that even the soft cocoon of a loving mother's embrace was not enough. Her love was so great that she opened her arms and set me free.
Thus, I found myself at the edge of the village ... an outcast ... ejected into the vast forest to fall ... laughed at behind my back ... villagers would be rejoicing at my departure ...
"No!" I paused and shook my head, driving the maddening thoughts back from whence they came.
"Ehlanna?"
I frowned and looked up, hearing the soft voice speak my name, gasping in shock as I beheld all the Elves of the village - was I that lost that I could not hear that many people follow me?
"Why ... why are you all ..."
"We came to say farewell, and to tell you that you are welcome to return whenever you desire," Andara smiled at me, her eyes full of sadness, "we shall miss you."
I stood in shock as the villagers passed by me, offering a soft word of comfort, a kiss, a gentle caress. Until Hylera stood before me. I still couldn't meet the gaze of Tolwyn's mother, despite the years that had passed. Her hand cupped my chin and lifted my head up so I could see her tear blurred eyes. "Fare thee well Ehlanna." She pulled me into a gentle embrace, "I have no blame for thee and thou should feel none." I sobbed into her shoulder. My shoulders heaved as I mumbled apologies between sobbing gulps as her hand stroked by back. With a gentle kiss she pushed me away, into the outspread arms of Aalia, my beloved cousin.
"Hush, little one, cease that crying ... your eyes are red and your nose is running and making you all ugly," Aalia giggled as she hugged me tightly. I gulped as a fit of laughter caught me unawares. "Stop that Aalia, you ... you can always make me laugh." I blinked away tears as I stepped back to look into her twinkling eyes, "and," she said quietly, "I seem to recall, we could make each other do more than that." I blushed deeply as I remembered our tentative exploring of each other's bodies, so alike in many ways, almost twins. Her laugh was throaty as she pulled me back into an embrace. I gladly returned the embrace, knowing somehow that I would not see her, or the rest of the village for long years, feeling a sudden need to bury myself in good memories to anchor myself against the hard times to come. Aalia clucked her tongue and I gave a short shriek of surprise as I felt a pair of wet lips slobbering on my neck. I spun in her arms and gasped as I saw her mare, Cloudwing, standing before me. She dipped her head and gently butted my shoulder. "She is yours," Aalia's quite words shook me. "But I can't take Cloudwing ... she she and you ... " Instinctively I lifted a hand and rubbed Cloudwing between the ears, smiling at her soft 'whuff' of pleasure. "No, Ehlanna, she has chosen you now ... I did not bring her, she came, I thought, to give you farewell, but it seems she wishes to go with you."
Gwyddion, my father, was the last in line. He held his hand out and I took it firmly, his finger grasping my wrist in a warriors grip. I smiled forlornly at him, "father ... I ..." Without speaking he pulled me forward and wrapped his strong arms around me, crushing the breath from me. "Be well dear daughter, make me proud," he chuckled, "prouder, than I am already." I could do more than nod silently as I trembled against his chest.
Finally it was done, all had offered a word or a caress. It was time to leave.
And so I left my village, mounted upon the Elven mare Cloudwing, lilting Elven voices ringing through the trees in a haunting threnody of bitter sweet farewell. One chapter of my life slammed shut behind me, and another loomed before me. All I had of my former life were the clothes I wore, a silk skirt made with a mother's loving hands, Cloudwing, and memories.
With a heavy heart I rode Cloudwing out from Desreniel Falaris, her gentle walk taking farther and farther away from six and a half decades of life, dreams, and memories, both fond and grim, into ... what? ... a new beginning? How would I fare apart from the loving embrace of my family? Could I ever melt the iciness I felt within me? Did I even want to? A shiver ran down my spine as I pulled my thoughts from the looming pit of despair. Cloudwing tossed her proud head as if she sensed my mental turmoil, gently rebuking me. I patted her neck fondly.
"On girl, let us see what the future brings us ..."
Authors Note:Many thanks to Logan, for stirring me to actually think about the village - what it is called, where it is; and for his populating it with characters that I wish that I had thought of!